In and Out

Most of us have days, weeks, months even years when things we thought should work out or expected to work out, end up not working out. All the time and energy often money we poured into making it work ends up being the long road behind us that often cuts off new roads to something better. Right now, I am on a new road and like any road it has a surface and a path in an area so all of that is familiar but like anything new I am learning certain navigations to make my walk productive, it is both exciting but nerve racking and I have no idea what the end results will be.

 My immediate past and long term past gave me limited amounts of security. My jobs, my relationships even my happiness had expiration dates. There are people, including myself, that lock into something comfortable or convenient and buy shares into believing it will stay that way or last forever. There are even layers of guilt we wrap ourselves in because we disappointed family or friends; ourselves because we couldn’t keep whatever it was from slipping through our fingers. Sometimes it is partially our fault and sometimes things just happen.

  Beginnings and endings resonate both excitement and fear and sadness. Taking your hands off something you wanted to last and accepting it’s over, hurts. Starting something new is scary because you really have no idea how it will turn out, somethings are just facts and we must deal with it. I find it more than acceptable to take some time to sort things out be truthful with yourself after a long-term relationship and that does include job, ends. I also think it’s a good idea after a short period of retreat to force yourself back out of your comfort zone.