Turning the Corner

My birthday week was a week of pleasant surprises and exploration. The day before I spent it with a couple family members for lunch and received one of those infomercial pans I never said I wanted but secretly I did. The actual day I had decided days before to make my own special day. I have in the past wanted something spectacular to happen on my birthday but always came up disappointed. In fact, three years ago, my dad was waked on my birthday day so that alone added more heaviness to my day.

Something changed in me that weekend, I was somehow diverted from my usual expectations and disappointments and embraced reality and I was going to spend my day not sulking, not expecting and celebrating with a home cooked meal. Spaghetti and meat balls, basic Italian throw together is something I try not to ordered out in restaurants yet something I don’t make often enough. Yes, it would have been better had there been people around to share with but that is not my situation and I had turned the corner on accepting that.

   I was also inspired to explore a growing interest, a door I often walked past but never had the guts to open or walk through. It was way out of my price range but felt it was imperative to do to help unlock that door and help stir the pot for the future. A past life regression session, I threw caution and expense to the wind and made an appointment.

 My surprise later that day was getting to chat with my long time chatmate. I had hoped to chat with him but braced myself knowing the possibility was not likely. In my mind, I was doing back flips and cartwheels, talking with him was the cherry on my birthday sundae. I thought at that moment that my birthday adventures were going to be that, one material gift, a meal I made and a chat with my chatmate, I was wrong.

  Two days later my past life regression session happened, all I can say is WOW. I learned so much about me in just that one past life and that door swung open, a new breath was breathed into me.  I am still processing, digesting it all and eager to one day soon unravel more once I cool down my financial splurging. The day after I left my place to do some light food shopping without a shopping tote bag and on the way to my car I stopped and checked my mailbox. I had ordered a bracelet online and was hoping it would be there. There was a soft package in there and I thought it was the bracelet. It was a tote bag with a very distinctive artwork on it. It was a mystery for most of the day because the sender had no return address. It took me all day to reveal who sent it. It was my friend from Singapore which added to my birthday surprise and delight, it also came in handy that day since I had forgotten to bring a tote with me.

 As I write this nothing in my life had really changed per say just my attitude. I have ideas, some would call them pipedreams, for something on the horizon. I have no idea, at least not now, how to wake these dreams up but I really do feel the upcoming year will be my year. I have let go at least for the remainder of this month of trying to fit my round self into square places.