Down From My High Horse


I am a master of dishing out advice to other people, both asked for and not. It’s so much easier to see things objectively for other people regardless of whether you know them or not. I am also quite skilled at asking for insight from others but if they reveal something or offer something I don’t agree with I dismiss them and their offerings. I am quite sure we all do that, much better at passing out advice and wisdom rather than pulling it and accepting it both authorized and unauthorized.

   I have been in mirrored situations where a friend was emotionally tortured over what to do over someone she loved. I was also in a similar peril and we would bounce our frustrations off each other and for some reason we were both able to separate from our own drama and offer out advice, opening options to end the cycle of insanity.  My advice to her I thought was stunning and she thought she was handing me a key to unlock myself from the on and off misery but neither of us actually embraced or followed through with anything.

   It wasn’t until I was left on my own to shoulder the continuing drama that I realized much of the advice I dished out to my friend I myself needed to take. In my mind I kept thinking what a fool she was not to take my advice, I never really thought about that she must have thought the same about me. It is so much easier to tell someone else to shut things down and walk away than to do it yourself. For some reason I always thought I was stronger than she was but in short I really wasn’t.

   I think we all do that, think we have one up on other people. Appear to be stronger, wiser more in tune with all things physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. We get that eye opener, that break through moment, well I did, when you least expect it. I found out something about myself while on a quest to find out something about another person. It was hard at first to swallow because it was a not so attractive trait that for years I have stepped over because I didn’t think that trait was part of me. I quickly scrambled up a bunch of reasons why I could be that or why I might appear to be that. After hearing a very objective pro and con on the art of being arrogant or conceited, a small strut around or pat on the back is acceptable but to hold it over someone’s head=not so good; I accepted a truth I have dodged for quite some time. Muddled in with some judgement and a splash of jealousy which I think we all without realizing fold into our everyday living, I now have a better understanding that I am no better than those who I feel can’t grasp what I have been able to. They are no better than me because they have what I don’t. We are all on different progress levels even though we are pretty much seeking the same things.

   I am still going to smile and pat myself on the back for my small achievements, I struggle with many things and when I clear a hurdle I really do strut around like a peacock. I will however restrain from raising my brow thinking I cornered the market on it and stop getting frustrated with people because they’re not on the same page as me.

  

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