Stay True


I am often torn between wanting to fit in and be like everyone else and being me. I thought once I got out of the school environment a long time ago that that kind of feeling would go away. Adults are no longer peer pressured and I would be able to live a free life, well that is what I thought while waiting for the ink to dry on my high school diploma. What was once centered on a twelve year public schooling expectation bubble, well, it had bled straight into work places and family and hang arounds.

   I think the expectations for adults get increasingly higher and tend to add up the older one gets. Either find a job to sustain yourself and or a family, find someone to love, help take care of you, start a family and that someone has to both satisfy you, your parents/grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. All that is enough to make your head spin.

  Being trendy and well liked and popular still threads through well into your twenties, thirties and even forties but begins to taper off some in your fifties. You no longer want to be friends with everyone with a pulse, well most don’t, and you begin to evaluate and re-evaluate who you highly regard as tried and true. Even with those pesky social media apps that seem to pull attention to the most mundane routine things we do and wanting attention for them, there is still a teeny tiny need to be like everyone else regardless of age or position in life.

    Most people by the time they enter their forties and fifties are pretty much established meaning they are who they and most are comfortable with who and what they are. Like most things that we read via the internet through our own searches or pass alongs: from health, wealth and sustaining good mental stability what once patted you on the back can quickly shift and kick you in the ass. It really doesn’t get any easier the older one gets, it just gets more overwhelming sometimes. We can always add or subtract something from our personality traits or life style but who we are will always bleed through, good, bad or indifferent.

   I suppose there is a healthy balance of maintaining who you are but tweaking the intensity up and down when needed. Wanting to fit in or feel comfortable in new surroundings is normal and some can blend in with ease and some need a crash course. All I know from experience is that if you start acting and thinking like the person or people you want to gain favor with and it’s not in your true nature, you stress yourself out trying to fake your way through and you end up being discovered and all you end up with is a lesson learned….hopefully.

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