Mazes and Locked Doors

I am at a crossroad right now, not really sure what to do or how to proceed. I have over time both risen and lowered my standards to match or morph into a running constant that I seem be facing along my journey. I no longer feel I am too above any of the stuff I once swore off, funny how life can change and humble you. I haven’t spent my open time trying to kick dust in the system’s eyes. The system has many doors, once upon a time the doors were open and all that passed by were almost begged to come inside, now the doors are closed with a light on but have some kind of cryptic locks. I have gone through some fascinating yet easy appearing mazes to end up at doors that were slightly ajar then quickly slammed shut as my shadow neared.

    I haven’t given up although I must admit when a door of opportunity was opened and I swore up and down that was my door, slammed shut and cemented over, I was tempted to lay down and crust over. There are days where I roll my eyes at the limited possibilities in all phases of my life and think “why bother”.  Shoveling sand against the tide is good exercise but it is exhausting and you don’t get to see any progress.  The good part is that I am not being totally ignored, I do get invites.

   I don’t want to waste that much more time waiting for the right door to open. I am well familiar with the saying “Good things come to those that wait” and “when in doubt do nothing”. Even though I have taken more than my share of action trying to make things happen; things haven’t happened. I wish the key holders to the doors of opportunity would view my persistence over the years, the huge gap of limbo they grimace at as an asset not a liability.

   I am on a brief pause trying to figure out my next plan of action, there has to be a way to get past the gate keepers and find a key to unlock my door or at least some clear clues.