Worry Agenda
Today I woke up in the same time frame as usual and
proceeded to get the day started in the same manner as every other day. For
most of us whether we have somewhere to rush off to or not our daily routines
play out like a scene from Ground Hog Day. If it wasn’t for our electronic
devices or a calendar most of our daily set ups would seem like the same day
played over and over. I would say that a majority of people waking up from a
nights’ sleep wake up feeling rested and in a good mood, during our down time
we forget what was bothering us or at least we try to push aside any urgent
worries.
As I drank my
coffee and listened to the TV I thought about everything except for the pending
agenda of seeking employment. I did get pulled in to where I didn’t want to go
and that is deep in the worry pool. I tried a number of times to think of
pleasant things, past conversations with people that made me smile or laugh and
sympathized with my situation. I pushed into my mind just as quickly a pending
dentist appointment which yanked me back into the worry pool. I didn’t give
myself much time from awakening where my only concern was making coffee and
deciding what to have for breakfast. I was in at the time a worry free zone,
that sweet spot where reality hadn’t crashed in.
As I thought about
the long line of applications and the flurry of denials, some passed out
without even meeting with me, I became suddenly rattled. The peace that morning
often gave me was snatched away. I tried to figure out what I was doing wrong,
whether it was something I was saying or casting out or if I was locked into a
dry season or two. I was able for a bit to surface dodging waves of worry then I
found myself being drawn back feeling that if I worried and wallowed in that
worry that somehow that would open up some door of opportunity or something.
I then sat and
thought about my worry quota verses reality and it made me smile because I can
safely say that none of my worrying has ever produced a job offer or lead to
anything productive. We all do it to some extent, worry about things we have no
control over. Some of us even layer on our worry taking on other people’s
worries. It’s like some of us don’t have enough worry on our plate and we take
on more and the people who should show some concern about things don’t. The
people who shake off worry like a duck does water usually are the people that
get ahead and fall into situations that help them out.
There is a slight
difference between worry and concern although the two can gang up on you and
render you a panic monger. Regardless of whether your plate is full or baron
worry for most people seems to sneak in on “the to do list”. For me anyways,
when I wake up I do have some things I check as I am listening to TV and
sipping coffee and it seems of late worrying about my present future always
creeps in on my list. I don’t want to get complacent and not think about where I
need to look or apply or re-evaluate but there are days when I really do need
to cut myself a break and not wring my hands. My point in all this is that
sometimes without realizing it we put worry on our honey do list. It prevents
us from enjoying life and takes a toll on our physical body. I need to be aware
and open to possibilities, that’s a no brainer but worrying and freaking out
where I have no control over I thinks sets me back further. I am going to try
to make a conscious effort to not let worry sneak on my mental to do list and
if it does to quickly cross it out unless of course it’s something life threatening,
then the adrenalin rush won’t be wasted.