Growing a Pair


My observation of those around me have placed me in an uncomfortable position. I noticed that many of the people who get what they want either have a cunning manipulative way or they boldly grasp the spear and lunge forward.  I guess because I either felt I was not worthy of getting what I want or feared what those I got assertive with might say or do or in my case what they may not say or do, I sat quietly hoping and waiting for random acts of kindness. For some I guess, the meek act works out but from what I have seen and heard the ones that speak up and step over subtle hints; they get what they want. They are neither rude nor aggressive but they don’t really ask they call it out assuming that whatever they want is already theirs and Boom! It soon becomes theirs.

    I have spent a majority of my life hoping and wanting attention or appreciation from certain groups of people and had hoped that they would be able to read my mind and offer me things or make a big deal over things I thought they should but that hasn’t worked out…ever. I have over the years witnessed those that automatically assumed their rights to position and possessions whether genetically inherited or grafted in some do get preference just because the universe revolves around them. They say or do nothing out of the ordinary but for some reason they get people to jump through hoops.

  I am going through yet another metamorphosis. I am thinking due to something that is on the immediate horizon I am being pulled from the shadows where I have hung out for all of my life so far.  With the prospect of a pending employment venture and the birth of my second book Deep Waters and all the prayers for something to change in my life, I believe that the winds of change is here but before the keys are handed over to me I am being prepped to shed my wallflower image and call things out. The best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. I have a knife and a fork now all I have to do is decide where to begin and dive in. For some a transformation that is on my present future agenda is easy but for me it will be difficult but long overdue.

    I have spent 98% of my life waiting my turn, not being treated the way I thought I should and accepting it. Through the people that have made me grind my teeth, roll my eyes and shake my head I have observed their ways, watched and heard the reactions and I am now convinced that I have done things perhaps the more polite way but not the right way when it comes to getting what you want.  I will be, with proper conditioning and time evolving into the person I want to be and should be.

   Growing a pair and stepping out of my comfort zone. 2015 may not have started out with promise but this year is the year I will grow a pair and edge out of my cocoon.

 

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