Valintine's Day for One Please


Today is the dreaded Valentine’s Day. Not sure how this day originated but I am sure like most over hyped holidays, those that get you a day off from work and the many that don’t, the pressure and expense outweighs the meaning.  Those with someone to indulge with get cornered into singling this day to declare their undying love and splurge when they really don’t have the money or the desire to do so. The singles roll their eyes at this day because it highlights their not being in a relationship and makes them feel guilty or unhappy with their singleness. Some even throw on their desperate gear and try to make something happen only to end up in bed disappointed. Hallmark and the flower and chocolate industries of course capitalize on this day, any time there’s opp to over charge on pressure type gifts and trinkets BAM. All the holidays encourage over spending and over indulgence. Not sure how other countries celebrate or view such holidays or even if they all celebrate the same ones but here in the states the more you spend and roll up your sleeves and get into them the more revered you become.

    For a very long time Valentine’s Day held no real meaning to me. It has always reminded me that I never really had anyone to enjoy this day with and was always bothered with that.  Social pressure and expectations can rob a person who is single of something sometimes more stable and rewarding…..self -love and appreciation. For so  many of us both singular and in a relationship we get so caught up in pleasing others and living up to code or try to live up to code, we forget to breathe and give ourselves a smile and a hug. I’m not talking about anything weird here, I speak in figurative mode. I for one have felt guilty for years and under the gun to attach myself to some anyone to participate in a day like this one, thinking today was just for couples.

    My facebook page will not be filled with online declarations of love and admirations and I am okay with that. Honestly speaking, I wouldn’t mind being fussed over and told what I mean to someone but if I hold those expectations over my head I will surely end up disappointed. I am not going to go down that narrow road, not today. I bought myself some really pretty daisies, I love daisies, I bought some swordfish for some healthy indulgence. I haven’t decided yet what to wash that down with but today/tonight maybe all weekend I am going to celebrate being me. I know what you’re thinking, it’s like jumping up and down over winning a year supply of mac and cheese on a game show. In a negative narrow view yeah, I am stepping over that I have no one to snuggle up with but I like to see it as me fussing over myself being happy when more than likely holiday aside I was going to spend the day or night alone anyways. There’s a line from a Lifehouse song that says, “you gotta love yourself before you can ever love me”   For a very long time I have liked certain aspects of myself but I have never loved myself. I am not going to walk around acting like my shit don’t smell but I am going to stop bashing myself and love who I am. I am hoping by opening my heart radiating the inner love that will spill out and attract the right people at the right time.

  

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