Disecting a Thought


As I was driving around listening to my music this morning I caught myself getting too involved with a few of the songs. I related all too well to what the song was about and started to pull people and events that have recently entered or made a fiery exit from life. I did have a particular destination before even getting into the car but a few of things I wanted to get done didn’t happen but not to my lack of trying. Anyways, sometimes a good drive with music blaring can be very therapeutic much like shopping or eating or smoking or drinking.

   In my aimless driving I thought about how analytical I am with everything. I can take something very simple and turn it complex within minutes. It is not enough just to enjoy something or someone, for me I need to know why and how and when. I think perhaps its defense mechanism. Needing to know all the particulars before I venture out on something with open arms. All a person needs is one time having the rug being pulled from beneath them and BAM! Life becomes a series of question marks and exclamations. With all that knowledge I still take chances but I don’t want to take whatever or whoever at face value. Life would be more enjoyable if I could stop over thinking everything. I caught myself shaking my head and giggling at myself because I was analyzing being analytical and wondered how many people like me do that. Think themselves into a lather over something that didn’t deserve that much attention.

    When I watch television whether it be mindless programming or something to wrap my mind around that’s me shutting my mind off and needing a reprieve from thinking, wanting to be entertained. There have been times when watching TV where my creative mind clicks on and I come up with a lyric or poem or something to write on my blog and sleep usually 5 to 6 hours is when I’m on total shut down unless of course I get a night mare or an intense bizarre dream that wakes me up where my mind is engaged to try to understand why I dreamt that.

   I am one of those karma huggers believing that what goes around comes around and that there is a reason for why things happen. I strongly believe that people regardless of whether we like them or not cross our paths for a reason; mainly lessons they have to experience or we benefit from. Ninety eight percent don’t even give that a thought until they go through something earth shattering good or bad. Me, well I’m all over it and up in it wanting to know whether to brace myself for another turbulent lesson or retract my nails and have some fun. Most of the time I don’t get what I’m supposed to get until things end.

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