Worthy Of More


 I met a guy online the other day, not an unusual event for me. I have had the pleasure and displeasure over the years of talking with guys from all over and I have crossed paths with some really nice guys both single and married who were able to engage in an intellectually stimulating conversation and of course quite a few that could carry on a conversation if it had handles on it. This particular guy for some reason peaked my interest even though there was something about him that unnerved  me about him but I was unable to put my finger on it.
  I usually gauge the chemistry, the ebb and flow of an intro conversation both online and in person to help me decide whether the person is worthy of my time. I think I have gotten pretty good over the years sensing where a man's mind is directed and whether I want to go along for the ride or not. Due to getting comfy with just chatting with a long standing chat mate I had pretty much stopped going into chat rooms and deal with my life in the real world. I had gotten tired of explaining myself and trying to sell who  and what I am to guys so I just stopped.
  There had been a lot of changes over the past year or so most of which I had no control over and so far this year not so bad but I did shut down and put myself on a shelf. After a lot of soul searching I decided to dust myself off and nip back in into a chat room I used to frequent which is where I met that guy. Really just bored out of my mind I really just want to strike up a conversation and was hoping to find someone who could hold my attention like my long standing chat mate. Well this guy was far from magnetic but he was flirty and before I knew he had convinced me to chat with him on Skype. I got to see him which was something I really didn't want because I just wanted a decent chat but I did want to hear him on mic.
   Not going to go into detail on what transpired but he did keep trying to melt me down to butter his biscuits, I love that expression). He was very attractive look guy and I kept hoping he would stop being such a perv and conduct a conversation then I thought about it and tried to relax and go along with the flow but as I tried to flirt back there was a small voice inside that kept telling me not to give into him that something wasn't sitting right with me about him. Like I said I have met a lot of men over the years via the internet and there were some who were able to melt me down to butter their biscuits but this guy was down right annoying. It had dawned on me that I was not going to get any kind of conversation out of him and that he lacked a sexy persona and there was absolutely no chemistry between us. As he was desperately trying to stir something up on cam with me  some kind of tech issue was going on on his end where he disconnected to fix it. I was not comfortable talking with him anyways so I used that opportunity and deleted him and blocked him.
    I felt bad at first for doing that but as the night went on I felt victorious. It made me smile because I made the right choice. I don't have to accept guys like him, I am worthy of better.

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