Lines in the sand
Sometimes I am at peace with myself and my surroundings. I know what I like and what i don't like and if I haven't already drawn lines in the sand, I am in the process of doing so. I think we can all say we have gone through most of our life doing something or saying stuff either out of obligation or guilt; sometimes both. Instead of taking a couple of uncomfortable moments and speaking what we really feel, (in a tact full way of coarse), we end up pulling out the polite card and end up doing something we really don't want to do or worse being caught speaking our heart to somebody while purging the truth of the matter. The clean up from a fallout add more stress than if you just be honest upfront.
We are all pretty much walking around with some kind of buried truth about something or some one and to keep peace we smile and conform then spend alot of time complaining about it. No, i don't think we should just blurt stuff out and let who ever deal with it and not feel something from it. There is how ever a difference between being hospitable and welcoming and generous and being a doormat and opening yourself up to people taking advantage of your good nature.
I know for myself that when I allow someone to manipulate a situation they either have something on me that they can call me out on the carpet on or I am afraid of some kind of conflict that i feel powerless in. Most people who allow people to take advantage of them and not speak up or lesson the frequency, don't want to cause any trouble or get themselves in a mess they will have to end up trying to clean up. In their mind it is so much easier to take on the added stress pretending it's okay than it is to clear the slate and possibly stir crap up.
To be honest here, I think it is so cool for someone to have the hospitality to bypass their need for somebody else. Being selfless over trumps being selfish hands down. I admire people who can do that. I am not a tightly wound selfish person per se but I am not completely open and willing to sacrifice all my needs just to keep peace either. I have had my moments in the sun where i was open and relaxed and was taken, that's when I started to shut down and started advocating drawing lines so if something happened further on down the path i took steps to not being flayed open and gutted. I am trying to keep a healthy balance, I have to becarefull of drawing too many lines
We are all pretty much walking around with some kind of buried truth about something or some one and to keep peace we smile and conform then spend alot of time complaining about it. No, i don't think we should just blurt stuff out and let who ever deal with it and not feel something from it. There is how ever a difference between being hospitable and welcoming and generous and being a doormat and opening yourself up to people taking advantage of your good nature.
I know for myself that when I allow someone to manipulate a situation they either have something on me that they can call me out on the carpet on or I am afraid of some kind of conflict that i feel powerless in. Most people who allow people to take advantage of them and not speak up or lesson the frequency, don't want to cause any trouble or get themselves in a mess they will have to end up trying to clean up. In their mind it is so much easier to take on the added stress pretending it's okay than it is to clear the slate and possibly stir crap up.
To be honest here, I think it is so cool for someone to have the hospitality to bypass their need for somebody else. Being selfless over trumps being selfish hands down. I admire people who can do that. I am not a tightly wound selfish person per se but I am not completely open and willing to sacrifice all my needs just to keep peace either. I have had my moments in the sun where i was open and relaxed and was taken, that's when I started to shut down and started advocating drawing lines so if something happened further on down the path i took steps to not being flayed open and gutted. I am trying to keep a healthy balance, I have to becarefull of drawing too many lines